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A nice cup of rabies

Rantings with occasional art.

Terrible Halloween Ideas
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Sexy Technopriest Costume

was planning on just sewing a bunch of LEDs into my black coat and going as a Blinky Witch, but I think I just came up with a much more beautifully stupid idea. All I need is a few layers of red lingerie, black goggles or wraparound mirrorshades, an emblem sewn to the uppermost layer, a black beanie, and a black balloon full of helium!

Bonus points: persuade someone to dress up as John DiFool, and make a Deepo by attaching some stuff to a white balloon.

Nobody will get this. Except for that one person who is quite possibly a NEW BEST FRIEND.

I’m really tempted to do this. And still keep on sewing LEDs into my coat, of course, because, hey, who doesn’t want to high-tech multicolor witch coat?

 

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


dream: fragments
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existing as a couple of chips hidden in a poster on a wall while hiding from folks who would kill me

eating plates to get mass to break down to repair my broken body (which was some kind of high-tech simulacrum of a human body, the magic wand I would wave if I was going to put that in a story is probably ‘nanobots’)

flying around as a temporary dragon with Vital Resources (but no memory of what they were)

getting a phone call telling me “you need to move NOW” because The Enemy were closing in and trying to make my elderly Asian mother stop asking for explanations and just Go – and then I woke up with a bit of a start.

While I can’t remember the connective tissue of this dream, in general this one had an overall theme of ‘being hunted’. It wasn’t a nightmare or anything; it was more like I was in an action movie or something. It was An Adventure and I remained pretty chill throughout the whole thing.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Lashina
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Lashina

Another one of the Female Furies.

For Lashina, I felt I had a tight edge to walk – I wanted to keep what is, quite honestly, the BDSM flavor of her outfit, but de-objectify it a bit. Those rings around the tits were cute, Jack, but kinda blatant. I took it down to one simple signifier: she’s got a collar with a ring on it. Also she whips people with the steel ribbons she’s tied up in but that’s nothing new.

 

 

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Big Barda
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Big BardaBig Barda: looks like Lanie Kazan, acts like Roz Kirby. And kicks all the ass. As with my previous redesign of Orion, I tried to take Jack Kirby’s original design and strip it down to an essential. Barda’s fish-scaled armor has turned into hex-scaled armor, and the hexagon theme of her belt in some of Jack’s drawings has been extended to the red bands on her limbs. The panties-over-leggings look is gone because the ‘circus strong man’ resonance it conjured up in the fifties is long since gone for modern people like me.

 

The floating bits on her powered-up Power Rod are held there by gravity manipulation, and can be extended very rapidly. Not that she needs it to kick your ass. But it comes in handy when she’s beating apocalypse-sized gods down to size.

 

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


the danger of misprints
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I am dealing with shipping the last few copies of Rita 2 today. This is mostly a matter of ‘some lingering international shipments’ and ‘special snowflakes’.

One of the ways you can be a special snowflake who requies unique handling is to be someone who said “why yes, I would like one of those ten copies of the misprinted 2”. So I have had to open up the Box Of Misprints (it has MISPRINT! written on every visible side so there’s no confusion), and carefully take out six copies. I then sealed the box of misprints back up.

I have now put a pink post-it with an exclamation point on the cover of each of these books. Because I want there to be no question which books are misprints and which are nots, so I don’t accidentally send one to someone who isn’t expecting it.

I feel like I treat these things with the same caution I’d treat weapons-grade plutonium, sometimes. Store well away from the other half of the bomb. Do not put next to the other half until delivery is imminent. Avoid accidents.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


re-stretching
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Woo. First time doing yoga class in like a month – I’ve been away at cons, or just back from a con and too exhausted to think of leaving the house in the morning, for weeks. As usual, I pushed myself to near my limits, just to figure out what the hell they are after all this laxity. Turns out there are a few things that have definitely changed for the worse, and my stamina for holding poses feels less, but there are other parts that are still pretty flexible.

It’s gonna take a while for my spine to fully unkink after all that travel and sitting, though. Pop pop crackle.

There’s a new yoga teacher at the Y, with a different style of class, and a very citrus-y perfume. But it’s still mostly about taking the same poses and holding them.

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I’m going to miss having the more extreme stretching and exercise of pole class; the Y is adding barre and high-impact intensity training, and I’m hoping those two things will fill in that gap for a while. I’ll start hitting those classes sometime this week or the next; it depends on how pooped I feel after just starting to do yoga again after so much of a break.

(Also annoyingly my pull-ups have decreased a LOT over this enforced break; I could casually do 5 or 6 when passing by the bar at the bathroom door, and now I struggle to do 3. It’ll return with regular practice, though.)

I really need to start doing some kind of exercise when I’m away from home like this, so I don’t have this total drop of flexibility and strength when several cons come in a row in the future. (I also need to avoid that if I can. But still.)

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


A breakfast moment
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I’m having breakfast at Portage Bay Cafe. The dining room has this unusual split-level arrangement; half of it is higher than the other, with a low wall that comes up to about waist height for the people in the upper half.

I was seated right next to the wall, on the lower side, enjoying a really tasty ham scramble, when I see a hand casually slide over the wall and just dangle there. As if its owner was draping it out a car window.

Every now and then he’d kinda pick at one of his fingernails. Kinda gross, when you’re right below it.

After a bit of thought, I picked up a packet of sugar and slid it into this hovering hand. Fingers closed reflexively, and my gift was accepted. The hand drew out of sight.

A moment later, the old dude it belonged to poked his head over the wall. I waved. He said “Thank you!” and vanished.

And took his dangling hand with him.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Goldkin
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Goldkin

 

Table commission from Rainfurrest 2014. Goldkin builds tooling for VR, and wanted a Rita-style piece.

 

Hooray for scale brushes I got off the internet.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Ganondorf
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Ganondorf

 

“So…who is going to draw a smoking hot Hyrule Warrior Ganondorf on a Hylian throne for my bday?

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.

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My mouth is still tingling.
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Oh hell yes. I just had a salad made with local tomatos and locally made spicy cheese for the first time in like a month. It was exactly the right amount of food for my appetite, rather than a too-large portion that I don’t want to eat later but feel weird about throwing away.

The greens came out of a bag from Trader Joe’s, but everything else came from the local farmer’s market. Which is on Saturdays, and, well, cons happen on weekends, so I haven’t been able to stop by for the past three weeks. I was finally home on a Saturday morning again this past weekend.

Tastes like heaven.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


certain patterns begin to emerge
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Last night before going to the wedding, Jill offered me a couple of the perfumes she keeps in her purse. Both were kinda too floral for me, so I declined. And then wished I had some hanging around in my purse for those moments when I realize that, hey, this is a time when it would be nice to alter my scent from the default of ‘woman, vaguely raspberryish from my choice of hair products’.

So I hit up ZOMG Smells for a couple tiny bottles of their Spacebat. I’d met them at Geek Girl Con a couple years ago and gotten a few of their perfumes, and Spacebat is the one that I just keep on using, so I figured I needed a few tiny bottles.

And then I looked for a few other scents, to fill out the order and give my self variety. I quickly noticed that the ones I went for first had names like ‘Kuiper Belt Objects Unite In Vengeance’ or ‘Coronal Mass Ejection’. Add this onto the couple tiny vials I have of their ‘Oort’ and something becomes clear: I want to smell like space.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Cascading of yaks.
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Okay, time to take a shower.

Ugh. The tub is filthy. It’s been needing a cleaning since before this month of cons. It is now downright dangerous because a conditioner spill that happened during one of these cons rendered the whole thing slippery.

I’ll clean it after I take this shower.

pause

No. I’m going to clean it now. I’ve been saying “I’ll clean it after this shower” the past several times I’ve showered, and it’s still filthy.

Well now that I’ve got this sponge full of bleach powder I may as well clean the bathroom sink, too.

And why not clean up some of these hair dye stains on the counter while I’m at it?

And now at last I think I can shower. 

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Things that make me feel like an adult, #47
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Attending a friend’s wedding.

Dressing nicely to attend a friend’s wedding.

Knowing that I should dress nicely, but not so nicely as to become the center of all attention – it’d be rude to upstage the couple getting married.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


net swap
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As noted previously, I’m switching my net from Comcast to Centurylink. Today, I stuck the old modem into the box along with the giant new modem/router they sent me, and took a bus up to the Comcast office in Bitter Lake, then visited Best Buy to attempt to buy a Centurylink router that didn’t do wireless.
On the way, things got interesting – about halfway along my trip on the second bus I had to take to get up to Comcast, someone tried to do a right turn from the lane to the bus’ left, and would have gotten run over if the bus driver hadn’t slammed on the brakes. Passengers went tumbling, and the car clipped the bike rack on the front of the bus, knocking off one of the wheel clips and probably fucking up the wheel of the bike sitting on the rack. Nobody was hurt beyond some bruises, as far as I could tell – the bus was empty enough that everyone had a seat.

 

The bus driver and the driver of the car were clearly gonna be there for a while, so I got out and walked the remaining four or five blocks. Along a busy road with no sidewalks, because this is the fucking suburbs and nobody ever walks there. Blah. I was kinda tempted to just walk right down a lane in protest. I did not; I reached the Comcast offices without further incident, and gave them back their modems, then walked about a half hour to the Best Buy in Northgate.

 

They only had one router, which also did wireless, so I sighed and got it.
Upon getting home, I got it plugged in and running, then made the mistake of trying to let it be the master wireless router, and have my two Airports extend the network. This did not work very well at all; I don’t recommend you try this. I wasted at least an hour and a half trying to make this work before turning the wireless off at the modem, and using the Airport that was formerly sitting in the living room repeating the other Airport’s net as the master router. Now everything seems to be mostly working.

 

I guess now I’ll either slack off for a while, or work on the RF take-home commission I did a good sketch for on the bus…

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Seasonal attire
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IMG_1262.JPG
Okay! I think I’m ready to go run some errands now. I’m dressed casually, right?

God I miss being able to just pull on jeans and a Tshirt sometimes.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


texture experiment
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I was sitting around answering questions in the Illustrator subreddit when I found a link to a neat tutorial on faking toothbrush splatters in Illustrator.

So I tried it out.

toothbrush-texture-rita

I added a wrinkle to it that the tutorial didn’t bother with; instead of having a lot of duplicated shapes with grained-up gradients over flat fills, I just added a new fill to my shapes with the Appearance palette, then gave them various linear and radial fills that I added the grain filter to and set to multiply mode. Less shapes are better, in my mind, because it’s a ton easier to go in and tweak things for just the right curve.

(You could also just draw the grainy gradients inside the shapes, which upon reflection would probably be a bit faster, but I dunno, I just like the technical sweetness of the Appearance palette sometimes.)

I’m pretty happy with how this turned out for a 15-minute doodle. I may have to do a more involved piece using this effect sometime in the future.

Here’s the AI source if you want to poke around.

(If you’ve read Rita, please do not try to read any significance into my color choices – this is just me picking random colors that felt fun together.)

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


San Fran sightseeing suggestions?
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I decided to take a couple extra days of vacation after APE. This will more than eat any profit I may have made from the con, but after three cons in as many weekends, I need a vacation.
So here I am in a motel. All my tweets say I’m in the “Cow Hollow” neighborhood – between Filmore and Van Ness, on Lombard. I have absolutely no plans for things to do, and while “finding a nice place in Golden Gate Park to sit around and quietly draw” feels like a pretty good agenda, I’d like to have a few other ideas.
What would you do if you were in SF with a couple days to kill, and no car?

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Notes from APE
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Memo to self: Make pretty signs for prints and tarot prices. Also maybe “take a business card!” ones. Also add some backing to the Rita signs so they don’t flop all over.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


Abuse of retro-tech.
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I can’t help but feel like living in a world where people do things like this means I’m in the good future.
(Starts boring but give it until about 45 seconds in. And don’t fast forward to that either.)

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.


If I Worked For DC
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A team book: “Big Barda and the Furies”. Or possibly just “The Furies”. It would concern the adventures of the much-neglected lady asskickers from Kirby’s “New Gods”.

I would want to look over all the various additions folks have made to the team over the years to pick my final set of characters. But they would all have costumes like the ones for the original set: fully clothed and armored, rather than the skimpy cutouts of most lady supers.

Artist: Not me. Someone who is faster than me. Someone with enough animation training to keep them simple and active, and enough sense to not draw them all as identical Hustler pinups.

The introductory issues would focus on how BAD ASS they are, in the manner of XTREME 90s Image books. Their morals would be set up as ambiguous – they were originally Darkseid’s elite fighters, and while Barda dragged them to the side of light in their original appearance, they seem to have bounced back and forth over the years. I’d have them mostly be heros, albeit fractious and conflicted ones.

Story arcs:

One of the Furies reverts to Apokalypse programming and has to be stopped. Probably a good intro arc, it touches on their history and establishes a general theme for the series – conflict between what they were raised to be and what they are now.

A trans fangirl Fury wanna-be is rejected due to (a) being a mere human rather than a New God and (b) being “male” in their eyes. She goes off and Batmans herself into something that can compete at their level. Dunno if she gets in after that. She might not want to any more.

Standalone issues where Much Ass Is Kicked. Whatever baddie is fun to draw, really.

Various arcs of cosmic/paradimensional adventures. About half their adventures should be on Earth, half out in space/the future/whatevs.

At some point during a future adventure one of them strikes up a relationship with one of the LSH. I want to say Braniac-7 because GREEN SKINNED BISHI CYBORG YUM. Complete with very female-gazey drawings thereof. But whatever works in current Continuity.

The Wikipedia page on them notes that at one point they appeared on Earth in the guise of hookers, with Granny Goodness as their madam. This is exactly the opposite of how I’d treat them. Ugh.

Mr. Miracle appears now and then - he IS Barda's husband. She pretty much always saves his bacon, not the other way around. (Rescuing him from some scheme always works for a filler issue!) His costume is super objectifying, he is a lithe acrobat with a prominently displayed crotch!

If I ever want to do a superhero story I could probably file the serial numbers off this and have fun. Not sure if "playing with Jack's toys" isn't half the fun here though.

Anyway. I should go back home and get to packing for APE.

Originally published at Egypt Urnash. You can comment here or there.